Extroverts and introverts are wired differently, but we still have to live in the same world. Do we coexist,/How well do we coexist, and how can we establish the most successful friendships? (Ravenscraft)
(Ravenscraft)
This blog post should be quick, right? Obviously introverts and extroverts can peacefully coexist...it is obvious, right? In theory, yes, it is quite evident that both introverts and extroverts can successfully coexist in this massive world. Society has never fallen apart because of a misunderstanding between the two groups, and human life has never ceased to exist. As explained in previous posts, if the two groups bridge over the misconceptions and misunderstandings that they have about one another, they should be able to tolerate, if not respect, the other group's strengths and weaknesses. Moreover, the world is large enough that individuals from one group can simply ignore those from the other group if they grow too intolerable. By and large, American society, although made up of many diverse groups, exists as one cohesive unit, even though there are separations such as the introvert-extrovert divide.
Obviously, introverts and extroverts can coexist in peace (well, at least it seems obvious), but can they coexist in friendship, and how? ("Green Peace Signs")
However, I am asking whether introverts and extroverts can cooperate on the small scale. I am asking whether they coexist on the small scale (personal relationships), and if so, what the methods are for which they can enjoy each other's company. An individual may attempt to quickly answer the first question, stating that they are an extrovert, yet they have many introvert-type friends. I myself believe that I am a slight introvert (shocking!), but I do have extrovert-type friends. On the other hand, how close do we really feel with these "friends" who are of the opposite type than us. By and large, do not introverts typically feel closer to introverts and extroverts typically feel closer to extroverts? Generally, yes, but there are rare coincidences in which an extrovert will feel as close with their introvert-type friends as they do with their fellow extrovert-type friends, and versa. What is the cause behind this phenomenon? The key to successful comradery and friendship between individuals from the two groups is communication.
The first step to respecting the differences between introverts and extroverts is understanding these differences. (Schwerty)
According to one online source (and most of my blog posts), the difference between introverts and extroverts is the way that they recharge. Being an introvert does not necessitate a hate for all people, and being an extrovert does not necessitate a love for all people, but introverts do need to recharge by having alone time while extroverts have to recharge by staying in the company of others. At times, introverts can become overwhelmed if they have not had their time to recharge and are constantly thrusted into social situations, and extroverts can become drained if they are denied the company of others and left alone. However, this does not mean that introverts cannot (theoretically) handle large, intense social situations. Before and after entering such situations, however, introverts need time to recharge. Likewise, extroverts can exist in solitude, but they still need to recharge as well.
Can you guess whether this individual (drawn by an artistic master) is an introvert or an extrovert? ("Introvert/Extrovert")
Thus, awkward situations can ensue at times when two friends, one an introvert and the other an extrovert, have a misunderstanding about the quality of their friendship. For example, this pair of friends may have spent a grueling week at the office, and as a result, they are looking forward to different outcomes for their weekend. The introvert wants nothing more than to go home and relax, whereas the extrovert cannot wait to go out and party, or at least go to some sporting event. Being that they are friends, the extrovert may ask the introvert to go out with him. By and large, there seems to be an unwritten understanding between members of the same group, in that introverts understand other introverts and their need to recharge in solitude, and they are therefore not extremely offended when one turns down their offer to go out, as extroverts understand other extroverts and their tendency to go out in society often for recharging, and they are therefore not extremely offended if they are not invited to every outing that this individual goes on. However, because introverts and extroverts undeniably do function differently, they often do not see such behaviors/situations in the same manner, and they usually fear the worst. Moreover, because individuals often feel unable to communicate their needs so that members of the other group will understand them, a lack of communication occurs, which leads to further misunderstanding. The introvert, upon receiving the offer, may politely deny it, informing the extrovert that they need time to spend at home. The extrovert, accepts the introvert's explanation/excuse, but they then think back on the fact that they have invited the introvert to go out with them three weekends in a row, and their offer was only accepted once. Thus, the extrovert, even though they consider the introvert a friend, may believe that the feeling is not mutual, and may further decide whether or not they should invite the introvert out anymore. Whatever the decision, the introvert may also recognize, over time, that the extrovert may only invite them out once or twice a month, yet they are still always going out every weekend, albeit with different people. The introvert may mistake this for the idea that the extrovert and them may not be as close of friends anymore, although the extrovert's reason is really not to cause offense (either because they simply go out all the time and thought nothing of it or because they had sensed that the introvert's recurrent excuses were a signal for the end of their close friendship), and, thus, when the introvert does decide to go out, they may go out with other individuals as well, but never with their extrovert friend. Because the two individuals struggle to communicate their needs and feelings related to such situation(s), they may have possibly ruined a once close friendship.
Communication is the key to successful friendships between introverts and extroverts (in other words, an individual must speak their mind). ("Communication")
How are such situations avoided? How is it that there are still close friendships between introverts and extroverts in existence? Communication is the key to success. In order to understand each other, two friends that belong to the separate groups must speak their minds, telling the other about their needs/feelings, and the listener must be willing to receive, understand, and accept their friend's feelings as legitimate fact and not shaky excuses. This does not mean that introverts can never go out, but they still need their time alone, which extroverts need to accept. Likewise, because they will not be going out all of the time but their extrovert friends still need company, introverts need to accept that their extrovert friends can have other friends and go out without them. Moreover, extroverts should accommodate for their introvert-type friends, giving them prior notice of when they can go out together so that the introvert(s) can make plans revolving around this and suggesting options that may not always include just the packed club. Again, introverts can also accommodate for their extrovert-type friends, making sacrifices to go to events where there may be many people and recognizing that they will not die on the spot from too much stimulation. Basically, in order for an introvert and an extrovert to coexist in a close, peaceful, successful friendship, both individuals must exercise understanding, communication, and planning.
(Jackson)
It may be a cliche phrase to use, but it has always been said that opposites attract. Obviously, if an individual is an introvert, they can still have introvert-type friends, and if they are an extrovert, they can still have extrovert-type friends. However, it is also not taboo to have extrovert-type friends when an individual is an introvert and to have introvert-type friends when an individual is an extrovert. On the other hand, such friendships can be littered with awkward situations and misunderstandings when communication and accommodation are not used. If both groups can understand each other as a whole through bypassing the misconceptions that society teaches them about one another, individuals should also be able to avoid such misunderstandings that they have with friends from the different "camp." Introverts and extroverts may be/can be/are behaviorally different, but by understanding such behavioral differences and recognizing one's similarities with the other individual, successful friendships/relationships can still be made.
(Ravenscraft)
Believe it or not, I have decided to extend the deadline for collecting the results of my survey for yet another week. Currently, I already have a whopping three responses to my survey, but I feel as if I could probably use at least a couple more responses (like, maybe two hundred more) in order for my results to be accurate. Thus, I ask those who have not participated in my survey yet (everybody) to please take a couple minutes to submit their opinions and then encourage others to participate as well. In order to reach my survey, just click on the link below, and it should (magically) take you to (the wonderful land of Narnia and) my survey concerning the behavioral differences between introverts and extroverts. I thank you in advance.
Works Cited
"Communication." Study Hungary. McDaniel College, n.d. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
"Green Peace Signs." ClipArtBest.com. ClipArt Best, n.d. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
"Introvert/Extrovert." The Five Basic Temperaments. The Five Basic Temperaments, n.d. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
Jackson, Michael L. "Do Opposites Attract? The Extrovert/Introvert Dichotomy." GoodTherapy.org. GoodTherapy.org, 19 Feb. 2014. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
Ravenscraft, Eric. "How Introverts and Extroverts Can Peacefully Coexist." Lifehacker. Kinja, 2 Jul. 2013. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
Schwerty, Scott. "Presentation Skills for Introverts and Extroverts." The Blog. Ethos3, 5 Nov. 2014. Web. 20 Feb. 2015.
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